


Super Fart

by Rose Emily (toomuchplor)



Category: Smallville
Genre: Established Relationship, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-07-14
Updated: 2004-07-14
Packaged: 2017-11-01 04:49:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/352102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toomuchplor/pseuds/Rose%20Emily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oh my god . all I have to say is that I'm so sorry.  *runs away*</p>
            </blockquote>





	Super Fart

Lex comes home from work and finds Clark sitting on the couch, looking worried. 

"What's wrong?" 

Clark stands up gingerly and tiptoes over to Lex. 

"Can you do me a favor?" 

"What the hell's wrong with you?" Lex demands. 

"Just punch me in the stomach. Hard as you can." 

Lex raises an eyebrow. "Is this a macho thing? Cause I _know_ I'm going to break a knuckle here." 

"It's hard to punch myself," Clark explains. 

Lex picks up a small statue from the coffee table and swings it at Clark's gut. 

It shatters into a dozen pieces, but Clark just shakes his head ruefully. 

"Did you hear a boom?" 

"A boom." Lex is beginning to wonder if he still has his psychiatrist on speed dial. 

"Maybe if I jump up and down a bit," Clark muses. 

Lex suddenly remembers something that was on the news that afternoon. 

"Oh, Jesus, how many times have I told you not to swallow explosives?" 

Clark flattens his palm over his abdomen. "I can just ... feel it. Sitting there." 

"Did you try drinking something bubbly?" 

Clark lifts an eyebrow. "That would help _how_?" 

"Well, it might make you belch fire." 

Clark just looks. 

"It'd be kind of cool." 

"I can shoot laser beams out of my eyes, make diamonds from charcoal, see through anything not lined with lead, fly around the world in less than five minutes, and you're telling me that I need to burp plumes of fire to qualify as cool?" 

Lex shrugs. "Just saying." 

"Well, maybe it went off already," Clark suggests, a note of optimism creeping into his voice. 

"Don't you notice when things explode in your gastrointestinal tract?" 

"I notice when you do, isn't that enough?" 

Lex frowns. 

_Later that day_

The bathroom explodes. 

Lex is on the other side of the penthouse. 

Clark comes out of the ruins of the bathroom, soaking wet and a little crabby. 

"And _that_ is why I wouldn't have sex with you after supper," Lex says simply, folding up his newspaper. 


End file.
